


Short & Not-So-Sweet

by Xparrot



Category: One Piece
Genre: Community: onepieceyaoi100, Ficlet Collection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-02
Updated: 2005-06-12
Packaged: 2017-10-19 14:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/201971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xparrot/pseuds/Xparrot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of ZoSan (and a bit of SanZo) drabbles & ficlets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Overcooked

**Author's Note:**

> Most of these were written for various challenges at [onepieceyaoi100](http://onepieceyaoi100.livejournal.com/). (Despite the comm name, "drabbles" could be up to 300 words long).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [onepieceyaoi100](http://onepieceyaoi100.livejournal.com/), topic "dressing up".
> 
> Not exactly on topic...I started with clothes, but it soon got out of hand...

Sanji undid his tie, tossed it over one hook of his hammock, unbuttoned his collar and considered for hardly a second before pulling off the shirt as well. Even that exertion was enough to raise a sweat; the cabin was sweltering in this recently summer climate. He wiped his brow. "Ah, I'm too fucking hot."

"Yeah, you are. Want to?"

The cook stared at Zoro so long whole seasons could have gone by. "What?" Zoro finally asked, irritably. "Haven't you ever been propositioned before, you shit cook?"

"Not--not by a _guy_!"

Now Zoro stared, until Sanji's ears went mauve. "Well, not by a girl, either--but it's bound to happen someday!"

"Unless you're gay."

"Right, unless I'm--I'm not gay!"

"I never said you were."

"Well, uh...good."

"I am, though. You game?"

"You can't just--just ask it like that," Sanji said, desperately, and a little breathless, what with the broiling temperatures, and Zoro's tongue flicking against his neck. "Where's your sense of _style_? That's not a proposition. Not even a pick-up line?"

"Uh." Zoro pulled back enough to look him up and down. "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

"That's hardly--"

"Show you how to pick-up," Zoro growled, and proceeded to.

"B-but--" Difficult to properly articulate anything in this...heat. And all.

"Y'know," Zoro stopped long enough to say, "girls love the gay boys."

"They do?"

"Oh yeah. You ever looked at Nami's magazines? Not the newspapers, the ones she keeps under her bed."

"Well...in that case..." After all, there wasn't really anything you could do about the weather. "Maybe a little bit..."


	2. Truths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Topic: "inner strength"
> 
> Tangentially on topic, though you might have to squint a bit to see it. It likely should be longer, but I ran out of words.

Loving Luffy is easy. It's harder not to love Luffy, not if he likes you enough to smile at you. It will just happen, unless you're trying not to. Probably even if you are.

Loving Sanji, on the other hand, is hard, because the guy's an asshole. At least he tries his damnedest to be, but that's failing now, so late the sky's lightening with dawn, and the cook's had enough of this island's strong spirits that he's unsteady on those long legs. He spent most of the night helping in the barbecue pit, no reason, except to show off. Or maybe because he saw that one boy gazing longfully at that black-haired girl as he worked. Zoro saw the two kissing later; Sanji noticed, too, and winked at Zoro. His cheeks were flushed with heat and wine by then; no jealousy, for all his earlier flirting with the girl.

But that's the thing about Sanji, which only is obvious when his guard is down, how much he likes to make someone happy. Anyone, not just a pretty lady.

He stumbles against Zoro as they walk back to the ship; without thinking, Zoro slings an arm around him, and Sanji leans into it.

"Good party. Good wedding."

"Yeah."

"They looked good together, huh." He could mean the bride and groom or the boy and girl. Either way Zoro grunts agreement. Sanji's gangly height is warm, drooping against him, softer than all those sharp-angled limbs should be. He smells of charcoal from the barbecue pit, spicier scent than the usual tobacco.

Sanji turns his head, warm wine-breath stirring Zoro's earrings. "If you want..."

Zoro pushes him away, so the steadying hand on his shoulder is their only contact. "You're drunk," he says, which is true. "And I don't." Which isn't.


	3. Separation Anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Topic: Separation

He didn't realize how much he would miss them until they were gone. He had been this alone before, but that had been a while ago; it wasn't until he was walking back to the ship that it fully hit him, how accustomed he had become to their presence. Their weight at his hip, the scabbards' polished lacquer...with only Wadou Ichimonji he felt naked.

And in no mood for company. Especially a smirking cook who fell into stride beside him to remark, too cheerfully, "Wrong way, the local bar's behind you."

"Fuck off."

Sanji removed his arm from around Zoro's shoulders, but the smirk remained. "And I was going to pay, too." He paused. "Hmm, don't you usually have three swords?"

"They're at the blacksmith's. Getting sharpened."

"Oh-h-h. Missing your boys?" Sanji shrugged. "Well, there's no one to fight on an island this small anyway."

Almost no one, Zoro reminded him, with a roundhouse kick swift enough to trip his crewmate. Sanji cursed and clutched at him, tumbling them both into the ditch beside the dirt road. Before the blond could scramble up Zoro grabbed his leg, broad hand spanning his thigh, forcing him down as he growled, "How'd you feel without your weapons?"

"Touchy," Sanji breathed. "But you still have a sword, right?" He slipped his fingers around Wadou's hilt, began to slide the katana from its sheath. Zoro clapped his other hand over Sanji's.

The blond bastard didn't even try to squirm free. "How long before you get your others back?"

Zoro glared down at his face, those teasing lips and half-lidded eyes. "A couple hours."

"Well," Sanji said, "if you need three swords that badly..." and he curved his free hand around Zoro's skull to draw his head down, "until then, how about you borrow mine?"


	4. A Puzzlement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [onepieceyaoi100](http://onepieceyaoi100.livejournal.com/), topic "night".

Really, it's a mystery to him, why Zoro insists. True, an hour past midnight is the darkest, quietest hour on the ship, but it's not like it _stays_ quiet in the kitchen (or crow's nest, or bilges, or....) And even if their crewmates would mind, which they wouldn't, it's not like Zoro ever notices what _anyone_ thinks, much less cares.

Besides, that private darkness brings its own troubles.

"Oh...ah...mm...Zo--ZORO! Wait! What bottle is that? I told you, _top_ shelf, _behind_ the flour! Not that oil! That's the hot pepper oil! --No, not that either, that's my best virgin olive oil! Geeze, if you want something done... _You_ bend over the table, _I'll_ handle this!"

One of these nights Sanji will figure it out.


	5. Deeper in Debt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Topic: Debts
> 
> An unauthorized sequel to [](http://peroxidepest17.livejournal.com/profile)[**peroxidepest17**](http://peroxidepest17.livejournal.com/) 's [earlier post](http://www.livejournal.com/community/onepieceyaoi100/107922.html) \- I hope you don't mind? Inspiration didn't so much hit as whale on my skull with a really silly hammer ^^;

That Luffy, despite having recently complained of being hungry, was on the deck playing cards with Chopper instead of in the kitchen, was Usopp's first clue. The various noises faintly audible through the galley door were his second. " _Another_ photoshoot?" he asked, but before his crewmates could reply the door swung open and Nami popped out, gently pushed by Robin.

"We should give them some privacy," Robin said.

"Why?" Nami twisted around to look back into the kitchen. "It's not like they'll notice."

No, Usopp concluded, craning his neck to peer past the women's heads, it didn't look like they would.

"But you've shot your whole roll, right, Navigator-san? It was what he owed you."

Nami glanced down at her camera. "I guess I should develop these, make sure they came out. The lighting inside's not great."

Usopp watched her go. "What's up with this, anyway? I mean, with Sanji, Nami just has to ask, but I thought the day before yesterday's session finally paid back Zoro's debt."

"For the new boots," Robin said. "This was for the tailor's fees for mending the haramaki, I believe."

"And before that it was a haircut. And before that the metal polish, and then there was the Goldschlager..." Which Zoro didn't like the taste of anyway, expensive as it was--Usopp frowned. "Hey, you don't suppose..."

The crashing thud of a bench tipping and an almost inaudible moan was the only answer from the galley. Robin simply shrugged and smiled her sphinx smile, eyes closed, except for the one on the icebox door which wouldn't be noticed anyway.


	6. Three Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Topic: Seme!Sanji

These are three things about Zoro that Sanji might be the only one to know.

That Zoro likes chocolate, and usually he doesn't admit to liking anything to eat, much less childish sweet things, but the only desserts he bothers fighting Luffy for the seconds are the mousses and the cakes and the bars. As a cook, he noticed; the chocolate liquor proved it. Zoro said thank you, then.

That her name is Kuina. He won't say it in his sleep, and won't awake, but in between, dizzy enough, drunk or wounded enough, if he's asked, and Sanji did, because he always wants to know a woman's name. He doesn't know if Zoro realizes he knows; he's never bothered to mention it.

And that sound he makes, Zoro, who falls without a cry when his chest is opened by a blade, but Sanji heard the moan, thrusting into him, deep in his throat and all through that hard-worked body. That was the most difficult to learn; if Sanji's honest with himself in the darkness, half-asleep and half on top of him and raspy snores deafening his ear, that's the only one he cares about. Of all secrets, that's the one he's sure no one else has heard, the only one that's his and no one else's to keep.


	7. Convenience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Topic: Voyeurism. ZoSan with a side order of yuri.

Robin's eyes can see anywhere on the ship. She doesn't abuse her power, but it's convenient, nonetheless.

"They're at it again."

The galley is next to the girls' cabin. Conveniently. "Who this time?" Nami opens the closet doors, kneels to put her eye to the knothole in the wall.

"Swordsmaster-san and Cook-san."

"Ah, a classic." Like great works of literature, some things never get old.

The cook's back is to the wall, his splayed hands to his crewmate's chest, pushing away, while his long legs wrap around the swordsman's waist to pull him closer. Zoro's face is set in such perfect concentration he might be fighting, sweat shining on his bare shoulders, the rhythmic swell of muscles under tanned skin.

"Oh," the navigator whispers in the same rhythm, tiny and breathless. Robin withdraws her eye from the kitchen corner to focus all vision on the red-headed girl before her, half-lidded eyes and parted lips and a hand risen to her breast. Robin cups her own over it, and Nami gasps again, warm curves arching back into Robin's taller frame.

Very conveniently indeed.


	8. The Cure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Topic: Hidden Talents

"Here's a special treat, Nami-swaaa~~n!" Sanji caroled, for the millionth time, which happened to be one more time than Zoro's nerves could take of that particular pleading whine.

"All right, that's it," he said, and setting his swords on the deck he marched over to the cook proffering the brownies and hooked his arm around his neck. "Be a minute," he told his startled crewmates, and dragged Sanji into the cabin, threw him down across the couch and locked the door.

It actually took closer to twenty-five, between the cook's cursing, finding the oil, getting his pants down with him kicking like that, more breathless cursing, loosening him up enough that it wouldn't hurt him more than he'd enjoy, and still more cursing, which ultimately dropped into a low, gasping moan of pleasure. And another five minutes appreciating that sound.

Afterwards Sanji lay on his back on the couch, staring hazily up at the ceiling with a cigarette trailing smoke dangling from the corner of his mouth.

"See?" Zoro said. "That's all you've been missing. Not that big a deal."

"Have you..." Sanji tried to prop himself up on one elbow, flopped back bonelessly instead. "Have you...always been able to do that?"

"Natural talent," Zoro said, briefly. "So now that you know what it's like, you gonna lay off the girls? A little?"

"Of--of course," Sanji murmured. "Whatever you say."

Zoro eyed him suspiciously. Something horribly... _familiar_ in his tone...

"After all, I've wasted so much effort already!" Sanji cried, suddenly energized, bouncing off the couch toward the ladder. Looking back over his shoulder, he trilled, "What do _you_ most want for a treat, Zoro-swan?"

Zoro took one look at the scarlet heart throbbing where the cook's eye should be, groaned, and thumped his head hard against the mast.


End file.
